Pope Benedict XVI has been on U.S. soil for a few days now. It took me awhile to get a drop on the Papal Choppers as the pope isn't often photographed showing full frontal dental. The pope is now 81 and his teeth look great. I don't think he wears dentures. I believe these are his teeth. Thankfully, dentures are not inevitable in old age. We know His Holiness is no stranger to the dental chair. In 2005, the Catholic News Service reported that Pope Benedict was caught on an open microphone during an assembly telling Archbishop Nikola Eterovic of his 4 p.m. dental appointment.
Is it a crowded waiting room and stale magazines for Pope Benedict? Hardly. What I did suss out about The Holy Oral Care comes from a 2006 renovation of the papal apartment located in the Apostolic Palace. The ten room apartment includes the papal bedroom as well as a medical studio which supposedly includes emergency surgery and dentistry equipment. I have visions of the pope enrobed in a light blue paper dental bib gently gobbing into the papal cuspidor--holy spit!
Which brings us to the great mystery of our time: Who is the pope's dentist?
I searched the Vatican Secret Archives here and shockingly found nothing regarding the identity of the papal dentist. What new grim Vatican dental conspiracies are afoot here? What exactly is the church trying to hide from us this time? I can only hope that Dan Brown is on the case feverishly working to unravel this byzantine Vatican cover up. Papal dentist---Reveal thyself!
Photo: imageshack
